


RETRACE

by TimDrakeBF



Category: Original Work, fiction thriller - Fandom, gay boys - Fandom, gay mystery, gay thriller
Genre: Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:29:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26998951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimDrakeBF/pseuds/TimDrakeBF
Summary: Zander returns home after a year with his Father, surprised to see that everything he was running from is right where he left it.The line that separates Friend from EnemyLove from HateFiction from FactIt's a lot thinner than you'd imagine...
Kudos: 2





	RETRACE

“Zander!” Hayden shouted again, smacking the back of his flashlight, it stuttered back on.  
“Hurry up, Hayden, we’re losing moonlight.” Talesha slinked deeper into the woods, not nearly as freaked out by the idea of it as Hayden would have expected her to be. Once he caught up to her, he was the same. He wasn’t scared, not for himself at least.  
“If my mom knew I was in these woods again, she’d literally kill me.” Hayden said, swatting a thick tree branch out of both their faces. He was leading the way now.  
“Yeah, it’s a bad idea for anyone to be out here.” Talesha paused, pointing her flashlight all around the two of them. Even her purple hair seemed dim and drained of life inside the belly of the Clayton Woods.  
She pointed the light directly in Hayden’s face. “The fuck, are you trying to blind me?”  
“No, I thought I saw someone behind you.”  
Hayden flinched, jumping to stand beside Talesha, then slinking behind her fully. He tried to play it off as if he slipped.  
“I said I thought.” She rolled her eyes. “Remind me never to be stuck with you in a Slasher movie.”  
“Same, you’d probably trip me.” Hayden ran his fingers through his blonde hair.  
Talesha took a long, deep breath, scrolling through her phone’s notifications, her expression unchanging the entire time. Her fingers moved over the touch screen carefully, as if she was afraid she’d tap or erase the wrong thing.  
“Anything?”  
“No, the service is non-existent once you get to the entrance of this fuckin place.” She said.  
“Yeah, I can’t send a single text.” Hayden kneeled some, picking random body parts from the woods out of his socks, he was wearing slides, not having much time to dress when Talesha had dragged him out of bed. His black pullover was tight, making him sweat hard under the arms, despite being totally shaven down there.  
“You have some really boney knees, stop skipping leg day.” Talesha commented, shining the light on his thighs. He was wearing gay little running shorts, also black.  
“Talesha, I was literally getting ready for bed, gimme a break.” He looked over his shoulder, feeling watched suddenly. “I heard an owl, let’s keep moving. I hate owls.”  
“Bitch, we’re surrounded by owls, this is their territory.”  
“Okay but still, let’s keep going. Losing moonlight, remember?” Hayden took one big stride towards her, linking arms with the girl.  
“Hayden, we’ve been looking for Zander for nearly an hour…”  
“Yeah.”  
“How far could he have gone, fuck?” Her eyes started to dart all around, even up at the small openings between the treetops and back down to their shoes. It was as if she was just now realizing where they were. “What if we can’t find him?” The way she asked the question so flatly pissed Hayden off.  
“Talesha, knock it off, okay? Exactly like you said, he couldn’t have gotten too far.”  
“I mean…” She scratched at her messy bun.  
“We are going to find him, beat his ass, then beat David’s ass.” Hayden sounded way less confident than he’d intended.  
“It wouldn’t be the first time someone got lost out here.”  
Hayden sighed, unlinking from her. He lowered his arm, letting the lights from his flashlight shine on one random spot of the ground. His entire body was soaked in darkness, besides the hair.  
“They eventually found my brother.” Hayden said simply. “Why would you even bring that up?”  
“You were thinking it.” Talesha said. And she was right. “But anyway, I’m sorry.” She grabbed his hand like he was her girlfriend and they started again in a random direction.  
“Talesha, wait.”  
“Bruh.”  
“Didn’t we pass this tree already?” Hayden pointed with his free hand, then pointed at a different tree with the light.  
“Lowkey I was thinking that too. We might be lost.” She’d been too embarrassed to admit it.  
“Dammit.” He deflated.  
“Don’t freak out.”  
“How can I not freak out, I’m lost in the fuckin Clayton Woods, looking for my best friend, who randomly ran off with his stupid ass boyfriend! Not to mention, my brother died in these woods!” Hayden pulled at his hair, biting back his screams. Weird how being out in the woods at midnight managed to feel like being in the Campus Quiet Room.  
“No, I mean don’t freak out because of this.” Talesha shined her light on something right beside Hayden’s left foot.  
Hayden saw it.  
A picture. A polaroid of Zander and David from the airport the day Zander had landed back in California.  
“No.” Hayden muttered, a shaky hand clasping over his lips.  
“Zander keeps that in his phone case.” Talesha pointed out.  
“That part.” Hayden swallowed hard, picking it up as if it was going to burn him. “Do we keep moving or turn back?”  
“Decide on 3?” She suggested, knowing they were going to have different answers.  
“Okay.” Hayden was positive they’d pick the same answer.  
“1…2…” Talesha began, never taking her eyes off Hayden, who kept his eyes trained to the polaroid.  
“…3.” 

ABOUT 48 HOURS EARLIER 

They say…  
‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’  
But what do you do when you can’t tell either of them apart ? 

CHAPTER ONE:  
365

“Look to your left a lil, chin up, actually no…chin down.” Leon played creative director, coaching his only son into multiple editorial poses, but managing to only snap one good photo. “I think we got it.”  
“No because I know you weren’t in portrait mode. Switch to portrait mode, dad.” Zander muttered an apology to the family of three trying to get themselves, their pet Doberman, their luggage and a cupholder full of Starbucks around him. “Sorry, I just really need a good picture that says…I’m back.”  
“Bitches.” Cedrick said, standing almost menacingly behind Leon’s shoulder. “I’m back, bitches.”  
“Well, yeah, that part.” Zander sat on his suitcase, propped his leg over the right knee and leaned back on the raised handle, making sure his brand new Reebok’s were in the shot, plus the gold watch he’d chosen specifically for this photo op. “Did you get my watch in it?” He asked his dad, coming out of the pose for not even a full second, then naturally twisting into a new one. “If not, this is all for nothing.”  
A mom with her sloppy looking daughter on a leech stopped just to give all three men a quizzical look, like she deserved or even somehow needed an explanation for the fashion week photoshoot in the middle of the Dallas Airport. “Boo!” Cedrick said just as the woman finally strolled off, yanking the kid behind her.  
Leon looked over his shoulder, making a kiss face at Cedrick, his fiancé didn’t return it, instead just flashed a incensed smile and then looked back to Zander. “He got the watch, Zander.”  
“Good. Hayden and Talesha have more followers than me, but I got the best pictures. I have to keep it that way, ya know?” He waited for the men to respond, when they didn’t he just went on. “My aesthetic is better than theirs.”  
“I think you’re just trying to impress Davis.” Leon said, handing the phone back to his son.  
“His name’s David.” Cedrick and Zander said together. “And he’s already impressed with me.”  
“Oh well excuse me.” Leon scooted out of the way for an old man, barely able to shoulder his ugly argyle carry-on. “I forgot my son’s basically the Bachelor.”  
“Aren’t they usually hot? And successful?” Zander inspected his pictures. “Yeah no, that aint me. I almost cried popping a back pimple this morning, I’m nobody’s bachelor.”  
“Well, this David guy, he’s really into son, back acne and all.” Leon smiled, his brown skin sort of shimmering when it met the massive rays of Texas sunlight pouring in from the airport windows. It was almost ethereal. Zander’s father was average height for a fifty-one. Black hair that was only a wink above being a buzz on his otherwise bald head. There were sprinkles of grey, but not nearly enough to poke fun at. Leon wished he had more grey hair, always declaring that it would make people respect him more. Not likely. He was slender and short with a blossoming gay accent. Yeah no, he wasn’t intimidating anyone other than maybe Cedrick. Maybe.  
Cedrick on the other hand, was tall, by anyone’s standards. He had more weight on him, most of it finding a comfortable resting place in his gut area. He wasn’t fat, but he wouldn’t be sharing clothes with his soon to be husband or Zander any time soon. Unless he switched to strictly juices. Or maybe went full vegan. Neither of which seemed to be on Cedrick’s radar in the slightest, he ate more fast food than Zander during finals week.  
Cedrick was perhaps a shade darker than Leon, but the longer you were around the lovers, the more they seemed to look exactly the same. Their humor, expressions, posture and even voices would start to blend in that way that only soulmates seem to do. It freaked Zander out sometimes, other times he thought it was fascinating wondered if he and David would be that way in the far, far future. A future where he was back in California and had ample time to make David his boyfriend finally.  
He’d only dated David Riley for three months before he’d moved to Dallas to be around his father (after nearly six years of not being around his father). A Long distance relationship was out of the question, the two of them hadn’t even put an official title on themselves and had only just started to celebrate little month anniversaries and post one another on social media. A whole year in a different state trying to keep the bubbling romance alive seemed like more work than not, and it scared Zander. What if was work he found himself or David not willing to put in? Somehow that seemed worse to bear than just not being in a relationship at all.  
With a little push from Talesha and Hayden, he’d decided to end things with David before the move, leaving the door still open for a friendship. And someone to have phone sex with. In a way, he’d never felt deserving of David’s attention anyway. The other boy was too many things that Zander wasn’t, the whole idea of them together in the first-place sort of felt like someone had casually drawn their names out of a hat. A sombrero probably, what with Zander being Mexican/Black, and David being a white boy with…flavor? Soul? A little spice? A splash of Tajin.  
“Yeah, David aint no fool.” Cedrick said. “And he’s more than impressed, I saw how he was hovering around you that weekend he came to visit.”  
“I usually hate a hoverer.” Zander looked at his father with one eye.  
“What? You’re clumsy, if I blink too long, you’ll probably break a bone.” Leon defended himself. “Plus, I’m making up for years of non-hovering.”  
“The dramatics. We’re entering Lifetime movie territory here in this airport.” Cedrick chuckled. “Baby, it was a joke.”  
Leon huffed. “Look, I like David, and I know when you go back to California, you’re gonna still be with him.”  
“Well…” Zander titled from left to right, not nearly as confident as his father. “Let’s not jinx it.”  
“Just keep in mind son, people show you what they want you to see. Usually, it’s just enough to keep you interested.”  
“Oh hell no, don’t you ruin his high like that, he’s got a cute boy waiting for him back home and he’s allowed to be excited about that shit, Leo.” Cedrick said, splitting his expression between Leon and his glimmering wristwatch. “C’mon.” He motioned for both the men to follow him. “Start heading for the gate.” He was younger than Leon by more than a few years, but Cedrick was nothing if not punctual. And funny. And protective. Great dancer too.  
“Period.” Zander said, letting Cedrick lead the way. “Love watching you get checked.”  
“Nobody checks me.” Leon said, then repeated it for his own ego. “Ever.”  
“What about last night when I told you to start that damn dishwasher?” Cedrick paused, brows furrowed. He leaned forward to get a good look at Leon’s arrogant expression. Leon stayed quiet.  
“I was going to do it anyway.” Leon said.  
“I remember you saying you wouldn’t do it unless someone had a gun to your head, dad.”  
“You like being a snitch?” Leon poked his lips out at his son. “Huh?”  
Cedrick and Zander laughed, unaware or just immune to some of the long, critical stares they were starting to getas they pressed further into the airport.  
Leon and Cedrick weren’t the most flamboyant Black couple to ever walk the earth, but they were eye-catching for sure. One much older than the other, one much taller, probably bickering and clowning one another back and forth as they sped walk down grocery store aisles or Dallas airports.  
Being Black and Gay meant getting stared at. And judged. Hard. Harder than white gay men and harsher than straight black men.  
The crazy part was that the only people taught or expected to adapt to Black Gay LGBTQ were…Black LGBTQ. Not anyone else. People like Cedrick, Leon and Zander were the ones who were expected to adapt, and grow several layers of a tougher skin for protection, which sometimes just made them too prickly to ever really have love. Zander was glad to see that wasn’t the case with his father, after so many years of being down and out, Leon was finally finding his center in Cedrick and Texas.  
Again, Zander couldn’t stop himself from imagining something similar with himself and David budding soon.  
“Snitches get stiches, aint your mama teach you that? I know she taught you something besides how to make enchiladas.” Leon questioned, always taking an opportunity to clown his ex-wife, Naya.  
They weren’t close anymore, but they weren’t anywhere near enemies.  
“I’m so sorry I burnt those by the way, I swear the recipe is perfect.” Zander sighed, then put a finger up to his dad’s chin. “Don’t come at my mom like that.”  
“She’ll beat your ass like a pinata, Leo.” Cedrick fake swung on the oldest man.  
“Yeah, yeah, and she’ll get dipped like a chip.” Leon said, his expression unbothered. The three of them halted. They weren’t at the gate, but it just felt like Leon and Cedrick had taken Zander far enough. Leon checked his phone, nodding solemnly. Zander hadn’t even noticed he was his dad’s phone lock screen now.  
“Dang, I better get to this damn gate.” Zander said, swiping away at some of his phone’s notifications. A few texts from his Uncle Tony, daily horoscope updates, coupons for Postmates and random rantings from Hayden that he’d just stopped being able to keep up with. Hayden didn’t ever just talk about one thing at a time, it was a chore to text him sometimes. “Before I end up staying in Dallas for another year.”  
“You’re more than welcome.” Cedrick said.  
“That guest room is yours.” Leon assured. “But not for the next couple weeks, you know Auntie Jojo coming into town.”  
“Bringing all her damn kids.” Cedrick winced.  
“She’s got one toddler.” Leon looked up at the man.  
“Oh, I count her three cats too.” Cedrick countered. “They cry more than the toddler.”  
“That’s because they have yeast infections.” Zander chimed in. “Anyway ya’ll, I’m gonna miss you.”  
They had a group hug right in the middle of the airport again, not bothering to get out of anyone’s way this time. They pulled away from one another, then sighed and hugged again one by one. “No, but really, don’t hold the enchiladas against me, I can cook.”  
“I really liked the hamburger helper you made that one night.” Leon offered a crumb of credit to the boy. Whether or not it was sincere, was debatable.  
“I did too, the ground beef had a…gummy texture to it. I aint never had that before.” Cedrick left it at that, never actually saying Zander could cook. “Stick to instant oatmeal a little longer.”  
“It only feels right to get dragged for my cooking one more time before I go.” Zander smiled, earnestly planning to never cook again. “I’ll just buy an air fryer.”  
“Buy two, you ain’t excused from a wedding gift just because you’re moving back.” Leon said, pulling his son in for a longer, tighter hug. Whatever Zander was saying, Leon didn’t hear it, he was nearly consumed in his son’s neck, trying to get as much love and fondness out of their last moment as he could. There really weren’t any concrete plans for Zander to come visit the couple soon, and with college in the picture, it didn’t even feel smart to start planning anything just yet.  
Zander had a whole life to get back home to. A life he’d willingly compartmentalized with the rest of his material belongings for the past 365. It wasn’t that he’d been excited to leave his mother, best friend’s and David behind in California, that wasn’t the case.  
In fact, it was more a matter of life or death.  
If Zander would have chosen to stay in California any longer than he had, he would have died.  
Again.  
Zander didn’t want to be one of those people that took long calls right in the middle of the airport gate, and he knew how loud he and Talesha could get when they got on the phone with each other. He slung his olive-green Nike carry-on over his shoulder and rolled the matching suitcase to the closest food stand. Bagels. He had more than forty-minutes before departure, so he ordered a pepperoni pizza bagel and Dasani water. The most hated bottled water on earth, that he hated to admit he liked.  
“What do mean you burnt the enchiladas?” Talesha shouted at him, her voice startled to frail looking man ordering a step behind Zander.  
“Exactly what I just said, I burnt them.” Zander slid onto one of the stool’s opposite the casher’s register. The cashier she was a bone thin Asian girl with a head that almost looked planet sized compared to the rest of her body. Talesha would have taken a picture of her and sent it to the group chat. Hayden would have called her tasteless and then Talesha would have said it was just because she thought the girl was “exotic and unique”. Two things she never actually called anyone.  
Zander started unscrewing the bottlecap, listening to Talesha bash him about his cooking.  
“I know, I know, it was supposed to be out last dinner together and I ruined it. God hates me.”  
“What did yall end up eating instead?” She asked.  
“Steak. Cedrick already had some ready.”  
“Hold up, they already had steak ready?”  
“Yeah, why? Is that illegal?”  
“Oh they knew your ass couldn’t cook, they were too prepared.” She laughed. “Maybe some men do have working braincells.”  
“Your dad is a lawyer.”  
“He’s still a man.” Talesha mumbled.  
Zander hung his head, half-laughing, half shocked that he’d never noticed how fast Cedrick had yanked the steak from fridge. “They could have just told me they didn’t want me to cook.”  
“No baby, they didn’t trust you to cook.” She corrected. Zander knew she was wagging her finger around, emphasizing the trust part. “And besides, you’re hard to say no to, Zander.”  
“How?” Zander said in between swallows and bites of his bagel. “You tell me no all the time.”  
“I’ve known you since middle school, my immunity is strong. Just like my stomach, my nerves and my…”  
“Head.” He rushed to cut her off, making himself laugh.  
She waited for him to stop giggling like a child, checking her watch even though he couldn’t see her.  
“It wasn’t that damn funny.” Talesha snapped. “And you know what look I’m talking about. That innocent, helpless, Bambi look.”  
“Did you just compare me to a goat? Fucking bambi?”  
“Specifically when he found out his mama died. And Bambi is a fawn, you clown.”  
“Don’t talk about moms dying, I haven’t seen mine in over 300 days.” Zander told her, wiping each one of his greasy fingers off. When nobody was looking, he licked some cheese from his pinky. The cashier saw, not even having enough respect to pretend she hadn’t. “Shit…” He muttered, using a second napkin for the other hand.  
“You’re the one that wanted to be a damn gay cowboy, running off to Texas a week before my birthday.” She wasn’t ever going to let that go. “The slopes were great by the way.”  
“You know I would’ve gone! I just, really wanted to take my dad up on the offer to come visit finally. It had been like…”  
“A thousand years, I know.” Talesha softened up. She and Hayden were genuinely happy that Zander was connecting with Leon again, but the timing was odd…to everyone. It just turned into one of those situations where you keep your concerns to yourself because the other person seems dead set on doing what they want anyway. Even Zander’s own mom couldn’t convince him to wait another month or two before booking the flight.  
Talesha specifically remembered asking Zander what he was running from, she’d never gotten a text back and the next day, they were on to a hundred different topics. Mostly about her. “I wish I could get away from my mama for even three days.”  
“Don’t say that.”  
“It’s true, she’d probably say the same.”  
“How is she?”  
“Mad, I’m late to this tasting for the wedding.” Her eyes rolled to the very back of her head. Her sister, Michelle was getting married to her broker boyfriend, Trey. And it was really changing the already toxic and competitive dynamic in the Walker family. Once again, for no real reason, Talesha was becoming the lesser sister.  
Zander could hear a car alarm chirp, then the sound of Talesha getting adjusted inside. The engine came right after.  
“Oh yeah, your sister…” Zander nodded, shoving the last bite of his bagel into his mouth while it was still hot, cheese still sliding off the warm bagel top. “Michelle…” He wasn’t sure if Talesha wanted to talk about her mom sister. They were touchy subjects, meaning, if you touched them, Talesha would probably start ranting.  
“The tasting for the menu is today?”  
“Yeah, I’ve been part of plenty weddings, this is by far the most extra and annoying.” Talesha said, sounding a little choppy while her phone got linked to the car’s Bluetooth system.  
“Aren’t you the maid of honor?”  
“Yup, really wish I wasn’t.”  
“Talesha, stop being like that, you only have one family.” Zander got up to toss his trash, cheeks starting to get sore from smiling so much. He hadn’t talked to Talesha for this long in weeks. He missed it. She was one of those friends that stayed on the phone with you for hours, not a single complaint or interruption, all the way until both of you were dozing off, losing your voices from cackling at side comments and random shit from years ago.  
“She should’ve picked our cousin, Tamera, she has no life and no friends, this would have made her day.”  
“Well, I’m glad I’ll be back in time for the wedding.” Zander grabbed his things again, turning a glimpse at the shift manager into a full-on stare. They both started to move more methodically, giving the other time to size up their potential snack.  
The manager was explaining some trivial to the cashier, clearly flexing as he pointed and motioned all around the girl’s personal space. Zander wasn’t too turned on my muscled men, but it wasn’t a turn-off either. Talesha was still gossiping about cousin Tamera when Zander turned to grab his luggage, leaning over just enough that his grey joggers clung to his ass a bit tighter. Without looking back again, he headed back to his gate.  
“You still there?” Talesha asked.  
“I’m here, at my gate.” Zander sat in the last seat on the row, plopping his carry-on atop his lap, throwing a leg over his knee. “I downloaded a whole season of X-men the animated series for the flight back home.”  
“You and Hayden swear you’re gonna wake up and be Storm one day.”  
“I pray.”  
“Anyway, I gotta go, my mom’s trying to facetime me.” She cussed. “Oh, and…remember when you asked me if I could pick you up from the airport?”  
“Yup, you said you would.”  
“I can’t.”  
“Oh my gosh, why? You hate me, huh?”  
“No, little boy, cousin Tamera is taking everyone out after the tasting for drinks, and my cousin Tanya is gonna be there.”  
“So?”  
“I need to confront her about sending titty pictures to Carlos in 2017.” Talesha said it flatly, flicking her AC on.  
“Carlos? Your ex-boyfriend, Carlos?” Zander couldn’t even remember the boy’s face.  
“Yes. The one you said looked like Patrick Star. Which, I don’t know how anyone can look like a pink starfish.” She was clearly still bothered about that comment. “And I would never date someone that looked like a pink starfish.”  
“Let it go.”  
“It been let go.” She lied. “Anyway, I’ll go half on an Uber for you if you want?”  
“That’s sweet but I’m good.”  
“Ew, want some aggressive to go with your passive?”  
“No, I’m not mad, I swear, I have a backup ride.”  
“Who? Your mom? Your Uncle?” She asked, voice starting to trail off some.  
“No, they’re both out of town for work. Don’t worry about it, I’ll text you when I land.”  
“Do that. Bye.” She seemed in a rush to get off the phone suddenly, Zander felt almost guilty if he would have kept her any longer. He got comfortable in the chair, trying not to nudge his neighbor when he repositioned himself. The smallest corner of his shoe touched the woman’s wedge and he apologized right away. “Sorry.” Zander told her.  
“You good.” She replied, barely looking away from her iPhone, she was proudly on tinder, swiping left on pretty much everyone. Zander felt nosey and leaned all the way away from her, looking as uncomfortable as he felt. She eventually got up, moving to sit with a girlfriend that waved over to her.  
Zander pulled his phone from the pocket of his windbreaker. “Why do I even have this?” He opened the grindr app, not surprised to see the profile closest to him was the shift manager from the bagel joint. A muscular, all-American looking guy who opted for chic reading glasses in his profile photo. He was posing in a bathroom mirror with a Miley Cyrus tour shirt on.  
Zander liked Miley. He was about to read the guy’s bio, but he got a message from the account before he could even swipe between pages.  
Hey there, sexy  
Zander just eyed the message, knowing another one was going to roll in before he could even think of a non-cringey reply.  
You were just as the bagel place right…  
Zander was patient still, mostly because he just hated questions people already knew the answers to.  
Wanna get railed in the bathroom really quick?  
Zander took a screenshot of the one-sided thread, excited to show Hayden later. He closed the app, scanning for a different seat. It was one thing to ignore the sexts, it was another thing to ignore them while the sender was literally ten feet away, looking at you like a freshly cream-cheesed bagel.  
David’s message appearing at the top half of Zander’s phone shut the rest of the world up. Zander forgot about the idea of getting railed in the bathroom, which was not as gross to imagine as it was to read in text form.  
Shit sorry, I overslept. Good morning  
Zander replied while David was still typing out a follow-up message, not ashamed to reply in less than ten seconds at all.  
Don’t say I told u so  
I told you so  
The messages came in at the same time, Zander laughed, screenshotting it. He wanted to show it to Hayden, but he knew Hayden wouldn’t really care. He and Talesha barely knew David, despite Zander begging the two of them to hang out with him during his year in Texas. Hayden and Talesha were too stubborn to take orders the first time given, and they were borderline anti-social, not typically interested in making new friends. Well, besides Aron, but that was different. Everyone liked Aron.  
The two cups of gas station iced coffee fucked me up, I was woke till 5a  
Zander saw two texts from his mom roll in, but he ignored both, fingers gliding across the keypad. He was overexcited, making spelling mistakes so much that the text took double the time for him to finish. David beat him to the punch this time.  
You sure you don’t want me to get you from the airport  
Could you?  
Zander replied, adding on one of those teary eyed emojis.  
Gotchu (;  
David wrote back. Now, at least Zander wasn’t lying when he’d told Talesha he had a backup ride.  
Hayden slid out of his jeep, absentmindedly shutting the door without his wallet. For a scholar, Hayden Grey forgot things all the time, so much he had to start leaving himself voice memos about everything from what shows to record to when he had to pick his grandpa up from physical therapy.  
He grunted when he had to open the heavy jeep door again, climb back inside and dig the wallet out from between the seat and the armrest. “Shit.” He complained. His newly electric blonde hair fell into his face, he blew at it. He’d only just bleached it days earlier, but it wasn’t new to anyone.  
In less than three days, he’d already posted six photos on Instagram, each getting over seven-hundred likes. Talesha and Zander were convinced he bought his followers. Hayden denied it. Just like he denied anything else that went against his own perfectly crafted narrative about himself.  
“Why’re grunting like an old man, Hayden, damn.” Talesha was on facetime, securely in the back pocket of Hayden’s charcoal smart pants. He paired the pants with a simple, ribbed black t-shirt, tucked in with a sleek skinny black belt tying it all together.  
“Hush.” He told her.  
“Oh shit, watch out!” She yelled.  
Hayden whipped around, wallet in one hand, keys in the other, each one sticking out between his knuckles. “Bitch, don’t play like that. You know this side of town is sketchy…”  
“Oh shut up, nobody’s gonna mug you in broad daylight.”  
“Didn’t your cousin Tamera get mugged in daytime?”  
“No, it was dusk.” Talesha was parked, trying to avoid going inside her sister’s house. She could see Michelle watching her from the living room window, one dainty hand holding the lacey curtain away just enough so the girls could wordlessly stare back at one another.  
Family friends, Michelle’s work friends and some of her cousins were poking their heads from the house’s side gate, wondering who’d just pulled up, when they saw it was Talesha, they’d wave and then head back to the backyard, where the tasting was taking place. Michelle’s fiancé, Trey, had a huge backyard to match the huge house, which matched the massive engagement ring, which by default, made his compact, foreign sports car seem big as well.  
Hayden snatched the phone from his back pocket, replacing it with his keys. They stayed on facetime, not saying anything while Hayden walked across the parking lot, eyes fixed on Beth’s Cake’s. The only cake shop in town that his mother, Linda recommended when he asked where he should go for Zander’s cake. Hayden rarely didn’t take his mother’s advice. Even when it came to boys. He’d dropped his last two boytoys after little to no effort from Linda. It was teetering on the edge of toxic and creepy, but there was no convincing Hayden of that. Zander had tried, and Talesha was sick of trying. Even without their extremely close mother/son dynamic, it made sense to take Linda’s word about anything in Clayton Valley, she’d lived there her whole life. And now it was the same for Hayden.  
“If this man didn’t spell Zander’s name right, I’m gonna call the police.”  
“Don’t be one of those white customers, please.” Talesha said, squinting at the entrance to the tasting, trying to decide if it was a menu tasting or a damn bridal shower. There were balloons and other decorations eerily poking out from the backyard, much like Michelle was peeking through the lace curtain.  
Talesha rolled her eyes at the sound of her mother’s laugh echoing from the back. “Kill me.” She whimpered.  
“If any of the cakes there are good, put them in your purse.” Hayden joked.  
“My mother would strangle me if I tried that.” Talesha picked at her purse, laying stiffly in the center of her lap. “Then she’d remind me how much she and my dad are spending on every aspect of this wedding.”  
“Strangle her back.”  
“Send me pictures of the cake, I’m mad you didn’t let me help pick it out.” Talesha half-lied.  
“You don’t know anything Zander likes.” Hayden countered. “Remember when you got him a puppy for Christmas? A stray, I wanna add.”  
“Shit, not my fault he decided to be allergic all of a sudden.”  
“He’s been allergic since middle school.” Hayden hissed. “You should know that.”  
“Thought it was a phase.” Talesha finally moved her manicured hand to the door handle, not able to will herself into the backyard, let alone out onto the driveway. “Kinda like the gay thing.”  
“Definitely not a phase, I’m always gonna like dick.” Hayden cringed, noticing a pair of little kids selling chocolate right beside him. “Oh, God. Stay in school, kids.”  
“I lied and told Zander I’m gonna be out all day, so he’s got no clue about the party. His mom’s playing along too.”  
“Oh my fucking god.” Hayden nearly tripped himself, halting so suddenly.  
“They spelled his name wrong?”  
“No…guess who I’m looking at.” Hayden said, looking back and forth from his phone.  
“Um, just show me.”  
“No, you won’t be able to see that far.” Hayden shook his head. “It’s a phone, not a telescope.”  
“Okay, Sherlock, who is it?”  
“Aron.”  
Talesha gripped the door handle then, nervous abruptly. She and Hayden’s split from Aron was still fresh and messy enough that the idea of either one of them being around the boy felt, pre-mature and almost dangerous. Not enough time had passed, not enough resolution had fallen onto the situation, and it probably never would. Sort of difficult to have resolution when you aren’t speaking, actively avoiding one another on campus, and around town. “Where is he? At Beth’s?”  
“No, he’s across the lot, at the Taco Shop.”  
“Fuck, Malik works there.”  
“He’s not with Malik, he’s with Darian.”  
Talesha gagged. It was her honest reaction to hearing that name, to picturing the two of them together even after everything that had transpired.  
“Is it bad that I wanna say something to them?” Hayden gripped the phone so tight he saw his knuckle start to turn white.  
“Don’t go near him.”  
“I just…”  
“We don’t have any more proof than we did last time we got into it with him.” Talesha advised, holding up a finger when her mom started to approach the car. “Hayden, just get the cake and go.”  
“Ironic we’d run into him today; the day Zander comes back.”  
“Right.”  
“God works in mysterious ways.” Hayden quoted his mother. Linda wasn’t religious. Nobody in Hayden’s family had time for religion, they were their own religion.  
“You mean Satan.” Talesha scoffed.  
“He cut his hair.” Hayden mentioned.  
“Good, the curls were starting to look very poodle.” Talesha locked her door when he mom took another stride towards her.  
“Oh fuck, I think he saw me.” Hayden felt stupid leaping behind a parked car. “What if he comes over here.”  
“Didn’t you just say you wanted to confront him?”  
“I was talking shit; I don’t want to be anywhere near him or his gang affiliated boyfriend.”  
“Gang affiliated sounds so corny, but yeah, avoid them.” Talesha sometimes didn’t even recognize herself when she went full motherly mode. Hayden and Zander were her personal headaches one minute and her literal kids the next. Growing up in Clayton Valley, none of them had ever been free from bullying or discrimination. It was part of the reason they clung to one another at such young ages, because nobody else wanted to be around them.  
The stuck-up Black girl with the hot-headed lawyer dad on everyone’s shit list.  
The lanky (not so much anymore) white gay kid with a lisp and criminal brother.  
The Blatino who literally showed up out of nowhere with feuding, cheating parents.  
They had no choice but latch on to one another.  
“I will.” Hayden said, rushing to get inside the cake shop. There was a teenage girl in front of him, leaning over the counter, fumbling through her wallet loudly. The cashier looked at Hayden and made an apologetic face, Hayden waved it off. “I’m inside.”  
“Ok. I’m gonna head into this damn tasting…”  
“Ok.”  
“You good?” She asked, finally stepping out of the car. Hayden could already hear Talesha’s mother, Tasha complaining about her daughter’s tardiness.  
“Yeah, I’m good, I don’t know why I got so freaked out, I feel dumb.” Hayden let out a deep, chesty breath. The girl in front of him turned to face him, a mix of accusation and shock on her face. Hayden waved it off again. “I’ll talk to you later; can you get to my house early?”  
“I’ll try, bye.” They hung up at the same time.  
The girl snatched a receipt from the cashier, leaving without anything. Hayden walked up to the counter; his neck still crooked to see the taco shop across the lot.  
Aron and Darian were sitting at the patio tables, talking apathetically about god knows what. Probably murder. Or other gang shit.  
Hayden didn’t get it…nor did he like it. The smugness of it all. The two of them just sitting there in all black outfits, eating asada tacos on a Saturday afternoon like normal people. They were far from normal. Shit, Darian wasn’t even on the same continent as normal. The things people knew about him, it wasn’t just speculation like with this last incident.  
Darian wore his deeds on his sleeve, Aron was starting to become the same.  
“Fuck proof…” Hayden mumbled. “I know it was you…”  
“Excuse me?” The cashier asked.  
“I said I’m picking up. Picking up for Linda Grey, the welcome back cake.” Hayden grinned, his bleached blonde hair falling into his face as he turned on the back of his designer boots.  
“Awesome, it’s ready. Are you going straight to the party? If not, you should keep it refrigerated.”  
“I’ll do that, thanks.” Hayden said, watching the cashier rush to the back of the store, calling out for another worker to meet him halfway.  
He checked his phone, replying to Zander’s grindr screenshots, unaware of Aron now watching him from right outside the cake shop’s entrance. Hayden sent a reply to Zander, took a deep breath and turned to spy on Aron again. “Good.” He said, noting that he and Darian were gone.  
Talesha hugged her mother, who instantly pinched at the girl’s hair. “What happened to the burgundy?”  
“I took it out, mom.” Talesha said. “I’m a lavender girl now.” She play flipped the pastel colored weave in her head, proud of it. Not only had she spent good money on it, her hairdresser was getting so many new clients from Talesha’s one tag. Everyone won. Except Tasha apparently. “What? You don’t like the middle part?” Talesha rested her purse onto her wrist. “It was Hayden’s idea.” She went on, awaiting her mother’s jab.  
“Well, I hope you’re a natural girl by the wedding.” Tasha retorted. “I didn’t spend all this money for you to walk in looking like something from Goosebumps.”  
“That’s cold, mom.”  
“Besides, it won’t look good next to all the other bridesmaids.”  
“Oh, I’m gonna eat them up in the photos regardless.” Talesha asserted, striking poses with just right hand and her face.  
“C’mon, your sister’s been waiting for you.” Tasha ignored her daughter’s antics. “And I’m serious, Talesha, you better take it out before the big day.”  
“Mama, the wedding is months from now.” She threw an arm around her mother’s waist, letting the woman guide her to the backyard. “We could all be dead by then.”  
“Talesha Tia Walker, you stop with those cynical ass jokes, aint nobody around here dying anytime soon, I rebuke it in Jesus’ name.”  
“Sorry.” Talesha lied.  
Zander was slow to exit the plane, he was still reeling from whatever had crept into his mind while he slept.  
Well, he knew exactly what it was. It wasn’t just a nightmare, it was a reminder that he’d never really be able to outrun his past. In fact, it wouldn’t ever be a part of his past if he kept having these gross dreams about it every other night. In a way, it was always the same dream, Zander roaming around the college campus in the middle of the night, naked and bloodied up from the encounter.  
Every time he got to the campus’ exit, he wound up right back where he started, in that same classroom with that same man who’s face he never saw. Sometimes it was night out, sometimes daytime, there were even a couple times Zander was lucky enough to be clothed, still bloody though. That never seemed to change. Each time, he’d get frustrated, fall to his knees or his back, crying out for freedom. A way out. And each time he opened his eyes to reality, he already knew that freedom wasn’t going to come until he told confronted what had happened. But that meant talking about it, and there was no way to do that in parts, he’d have to confess the whole story, which would ruin him more than heal him.  
Half his trek through the airport was a blur. He didn’t stop anywhere, didn’t check his phone or even take a bathroom break. It was almost as if the same urgency he’d left California with had been flipped and was now reeling him right back in to the cycle of chaos he’d managed to blast himself out of.  
Suddenly a year seemed like nothing.  
He started to feel jetlagged and heavy, on the verge of being nauseous.  
“Am I hungry?” He wondered, stepping onto the escalator. He rode down to retrieve the rest of his luggage, a knot in his stomach that seemed to re-wrap around itself just for the fuck of it. Zander finally checked his phone when he was back on the main floor of the airport, he’d totally forgotten to let David know he landed. They agreed on a pick-up spot, but that was useless if they both ended up there at drastically different times.  
“Okay, okay…” Zander opened his phone, searching for his text thread with David. Finally, he opened the message app, scrolling to David’s thread, right under the one he’d started with his Uncle Tony right before taking off.  
I see you (;  
David’s message appeared as if by virtual magic, right before Zander could even decide on what he was going to say. Enquiringly, Zander looked over his shoulder, then took baby steps, turning himself in a tiny circle. He looked back to his phone, making sure he read it right. He had.  
“Hey, papi.” David’s voice was like some invisible string, barely but boldly jerking Zander’s head back to the right. The rest of the airport could have blown to smithereens around them and Zander wouldn’t have flinched. “Nice joggers.” David added, using his pinky to point at Zander’s bulge. It wasn’t really a bulge, his underwear had been bunching up ever since he’d gotten back on the main floor, but whatever. If David wanted to think that, he could. “Nice everything actually.” David used his pinky again. His hands were full.  
A stuffed Pokemon figure in the left arm, his cellphone in the right hand, along with a gift bag and some luscious orange flowers, he didn’t have much access to any of his finger besides the pinky. “Okay, at least hug me if you aint gonna talk.” David told him.  
Zander dropped his luggage, running into David so hard that they both stuttered several steps backwards. A burly man with basketball shorts complained at their recklessness. Neither boy noticed.  
“Aw, you missed my dumbass?” David asked, hugging Zander around the waist with the left arm. He kept Zander tightly against him, accepting this as the best version of a hug they could get at the moment. Zander’s arms were thrown around David’s neck, his fingers locking together desperately.  
“Beautiful.” A woman said, snapping a shot from her neon yellow polaroid. The photo slid out from the side of the camera. “I’m not a real photographer, I just saw you two and got happy.”  
“Oh.” David said, still holding onto Zander’s waist. With two free fingers he took the photo from the woman graciously. Zander hadn’t budged, he was still pinned to David’s body like wallpaper, taking big, long sniffs of David’s scent. “Ew I look cross-eyed in this picture.” David said through clenched teeth as the woman gave them a dramatic wave goodbye.  
“Look, Zander, we’re models.” He pulled away from Zander just enough to show him the picture.  
Zander looked at it for no time at all, then clung to David again. He was sobbing.  
“Whoa, whoa, don’t cry, I’m not really cross-eyed. See?” He tried to look at Zander in the face.  
“I’m crying because I’m happy.” Zander assured.  
“I know, I know.” David put the stuffed Pokemon down, using the free hand to rub Zander’s back.  
“I’m crying because I’m happy.” Zander echoed, just as much as a lie as it was the first time.  
He was crying because he was sad. And guilty. Mostly scared.  
Being back in California, being able to touch, squeeze and kiss someone he cared so much about…it broke his heart.  
Because he knew what else was waiting to wrap itself back around him.  
“I’m crying because…”  
“I know, babe, because you’re happy.”  
“Yeah.” Zander deflated into David further, clutching the picture between both their hands.

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea for a “normal” story maybe two days ago.  
> I know how I am, so I had to rush and plan the basics + get the main storyline on paper as soon as possible.  
> So far, it’s really just a story about realizing that the line between friend and enemy is thin, and blurry. I hope you like this story! There may be some details you’re wondering about that I forgot to include, but more will be revealed about the setting and character’s as I progress with this! Thank you! Leave comments if you liked it.


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